This book was recommended to me by my business coach, Swan Gessner, and I have now read it 3 times and marked so may pages with little folds and pencil underlining’s that I don’t think I could ever give my copy to another person to read. There are many, many things in this book that are not only good life tips, but more importantly good reminders for your menopause journey and that is why this month I am sharing some insights with you to encourage you to add this to your reading list and tool kit. It is just over 100 pages, so can easily be squeezed into your reading schedule over a week or in between other books.
Don Miguel Ruiz, comes from a long line of Toltec healers known as the Eagle Knight lineage, born, and raised in Mexico. He is also a medical surgeon, but after falling asleep at the wheel of his car in the 70s and having an out of body experience, he has since dedicated himself to his family’s knowledge and to share their wisdom. In essence the Toltec wisdom is sacred, worldly, and honours all spiritual masters who have come before, not just the Toltec. It is a way of living your life with happiness and love, which is readily accessible if you just know how to tap into the amazing energy!
One of the first steps is to realise is that we have all gone through a process of what Don Miguel Ruiz calls ‘domestication and the dream of the planet’. Basically, as a child we didn’t have the opportunity to choose our beliefs, this is the same for our parents and grandparents before them and generally the same for the children we raise. What happens is, we agree with information that is given to us by other humans. By domestication we learn how to be in the world, which creates our belief system. Our training to be who we are in the world is no different to that of a pet, we are trained with a system of punishment and reward. When you are good, you are rewarded and when you go against the rules you are punished. Reward is good. It makes us feel good, so we keep doing what we need to in order to keep getting the reward. We have learned to live life trying to satisfy other people and this becomes the book of law for our life’s belief system.
As we get older, we are so well trained that we punish ourselves when we don’t follow the rules to our own belief system. There is an inner judge, judging everything, ourselves, and others. Our whole life is under the spell of this judge. Every time we go against the book of law, we feel guilty, ashamed and feel the need to be punished. We then also have a victim that carries these feelings. The agreements that we are domesticated with, tend to come from a place of fear and require huge amounts of energy and these agreements keep us suffering for the same mistakes we have made over and over. Our personal power is dissipated by all the agreements we have created, and we become powerless. But each time you break an agreement, that is no longer working for you, you give power back to yourself.
Agreement #1: Be Impeccable with Your Word.
The word is a force for good and evil, for yourself and for others, it is the most powerful tool we have as humans. Words create our opinion of ourselves and can mould the minds of others. With words we are all magicians, using black and white magic, either putting a spell on someone which creates a hell for them or breaking it with words of love. Don Miguel Ruiz compares words to that of a virus and your brain as a computer. Being impeccable with your word stops of the negative virus of gossip and hurt. But it starts with you, because the virus will only spread in you if you allow it to. You can measure the impeccability of your word with yourself. When you are impeccable with your word you feel good, at peace and happy. Being focused with your words means that seeds of love are planted rather than seeds of fear; positive bacteria rather than negative.
Agreement #2: Don’t take anything personally.
Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Personal importance according to the Toltec wisdom is the maximum expression of selfishness because we assume that everything is about ‘me’. We need to remember that nothing, absolutely nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All of us live in our own dream, our own powerful mind, and this is in a completely different world from the one others live in. As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you can avoid so many upsets in your life. Your anger, jealousy, envy and even sadness can disappear if you don’t take things personally. Most importantly, all the agreements you had made with yourself earlier in your journey begin to break and you can start to untangle the cycle of suffering.
Agreement #3: Don’t Make Assumptions.
We are wired to make assumptions, however when we assume, we misunderstand, we take it personally and we end up creating a whole big drama for no reason. It is always better to ask questions, even if they are uncomfortable, keep asking if you don’t understand, and have the courage to keep asking until something is clear. Once you have the answer you can stop, because you have the truth and therefore no further need to make assumptions. Remember to find your voice and ask for what you want. Someone can say yes or no, but you always have the right to ask and be ready to be asked in return.
Agreement #4: Always do your best.
This agreement is really about bringing the actions of the first 3 into practice. Afterall we are not perfect, and everything requires habit building. Doing your best means accepting yourself, learning from your mistakes, honestly looking at what has happened and increasing your awareness. This happens through actions, manifestations, results, and rewards. This agreement really happens when you can truly let go of the past and allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. Letting go means that you can enjoy the dream you are living right now. Equally you shouldn’t be concerned with the future. Just focus on today and stay in the present moment. Living one day at a time.
The Toltec strongly believe that you have the choice to be happy, to be loved. The choice to suffer or not. This book guides you to a point of action and to live in harmony in all aspects of your life. To stop fearing who you are and to feel the freedom to express yourself. Importantly it is a reminder that life is happening right now, so you have to live it and not let it wash over you. Say yes if you want something. Say no if you don’t. Be true to yourself. Accept yourself with love right now. Heal yourself now and let go of the past. However, you come to this state of being the point is, just do your best and make yourself proud.
What I love most about this book is that it is strongly aligned with my mantra of movement, mindset and modify. The agreements require you to:
- Act, have awareness, in particular that you no longer need to suffer, if you have been listening to an agreement that was formed out of fear, you can focus on creating new agreements, based in love right now.
- Have the ability to change or transform and know that you can make this happen at any time.
- Intentionally love yourself and with that, show others love unconditionally.
It is one of the most powerful books I have read in the last few years, and I know it will resonate with anyone that needs a little nudge or a reminder, to bring positive energy into their life. You don’t have to transformation in one day, you just need to put your habit-forming processes into action and start to incorporate these agreements as part of your life to help you grow your personal power and confidence. Enjoy!