At first, I thought it was normal. Every woman has a change in their periods at some point, right? I had always had a very light period. I was lucky if it lasted a day. But it went quickly to weeklong non-stop every month. Then it was every 2 weeks and after the second public flooding event (yes, who even knew this was a thing!), my husband (who is a sensible nurse) suggested I get to my GP.

At the time, I had a stressful job, working 80+ hour weeks. I started to feel anxious, teary and I had some dark days. Then several rapid changes happened; I was made redundant. I turned 40.  I ran a half marathon and hurt myself. I left a role within 6 months. I took a break from work. I moved to Melbourne for a dream job. My husband and fur baby stayed in Adelaide; we lived the FIFO life. I was made redundant again, COVID! I came back to Adelaide. My Dad had multiple major health events, sold the family home, and made himself homeless. My youngest sister had her first baby. I took a role that I was deeply passionate about and worked a 90+ hour week. My health was on the back burner, I just got on with it. I was too busy!

I thought I was tired because I was stressed and dealing with burnout and that was why I wasn’t sleeping. I thought getting up at 5:30am most mornings to train (boot camp, running or walking) was helping me. I ate well. I didn’t drink too much.  On the days I didn’t train I cycled to work. I did yoga regularly. On the weekends I cleaned my house, dad’s new house, made sauces and soups, gardened, and caught up with family and friends. Pretty normal stuff. However, the symptoms were intensifying.  

The night flushes had started when my periods intensified. At first, I thought I had too many drinks. But it happened even if I wasn’t drinking (I took a 9mth break). Then the insomnia kicked in. I got more tired. I became cranky and irrational. I had breathtaking pelvic pain and then a constant back ache started, I stopped wearing heels and we bought a new mattress, it didn’t help. I kept training. There was more bleeding, more frequent, if you can believe it! I basically had a non-stop period for 6 months. I was referred to a Gynaecologist.

It was established that I was seriously iron deficient and probably shouldn’t be driving! I had an iron infusion, but my symptoms got worse. I went for test, after test after test, because at the time, I was too young, and I didn’t tick all the boxes for perimenopause and was then I was told we needed to rule out bowel cancer (a few weeks out from Christmas). My iron kept decreasing, so I had another infusion, a colonoscopy and endoscopy. I was told to work less, rest more and that maybe that I was depressed……

I had to stop training at the end of 2021 because of the exhaustion, pain, and bleeding. I was waking myself up in the night from rolling onto my left hip and the pain in my knee and ankle. Argh! I had only just got to sleep. I started to notice weight shifting in my body and I was gaining weight around my mid-drift, so I had to change my wardrobe. I had a weird smell under my right arm. I had no desire for sex. My hair was dry and receding. My teeth were wobbly, my gums were disappearing, and I had an almost constant burning sensation on the right side of my jaw. A weird rash appeared on the back of my leg, which was itchy and painful, but also made me paranoid about wearing shorts, or anything above my knee.

Finally, the brain fog came over me. I couldn’t recall things I knew I knew. I would see friends, who I have known for 20+ years and greet them with ‘hey you!’, because I couldn’t remember names. Someone would ask me a question in a work meeting, and I would say, ‘I’ll come back to you” because even though I knew the answer, I couldn’t remember it. Did I have dementia? It is in my family. I was scared! I mean I was terrified! I did get really depressed and anxious. I struggled to get out of bed or to get to sleep for that matter! I lost all my confidence and felt like an imposter in my own life.

Late 2022 a year of tests, various practitioners poking and prodding me, and various reasons why I was experiencing these symptoms, a revelation! I was in perimenopause! 

Hang on, what is that? I thought menopause does not start until your late 40s. Wrong! Diagnosed, and after 5 years of deteriorating symptoms, I was 42 and starting MHT!

I am sharing my personal story with you, so that you can share yours, either with me or with someone you know. This is what happened to me. It does not mean this will happen to you. If you are fortunate your experience will be less intense than mine, and thanks to the many voices who are now SHOUTING about this natural life stage, you will have less of a process and cost to access what you need to get support.

You do not have to feel alone, or weird, or ashamed. This is a normal stage of life for every woman.

I have added some photos of me before the really sever symptoms kicked in, happy, carefree, and me! Then in the middle, terrified, stone cold sober and sleep deprived, wondering what on earth is going on, this is just before the revelation. Then the last picture is me now, coming out, not quite out the other side, but much improved and living my truth, so you can live yours too!

Take the time to navigate the journals, where the professionals I have connected with on my journey share their insights and where I share more deeply my peri-Meno journey with you.

Sending positive vibrations to you, M. x