5 Minute Read

Author: Megan Hayward, The Menopause Concierge®

October is ADHD Awareness Month. And this year, it feels particularly personal.

2026 has been a big year for me. But not necessarily for the reasons most people know about. Behind the scenes, I have been on a journey towards an ADHD diagnosis. And along the way, I have discovered a few things about myself that I was not expecting. In fact, AuDHD, the co-occurrence of autism and ADHD, is now looking like a possibility.

And initially, I really struggled to wrap my head around that.

I did not want another label.

I have been dyslexic my entire life, and let me tell you, being the kid who was different in the 1980s was not particularly cool.

I have spent much of my life feeling like I do not quite fit in. Thinking differently. Learning differently. Experiencing the world differently.

I have masked parts of myself, tried desperately to blend in and, at times, self-medicated to feel more comfortable in situations where I did not feel I belonged. Almost always to my own detriment.

And for years, somewhere in the back of my mind, I have carried this feeling that there must be something wrong with me. A feeling that I now recognise has influenced my confidence, my mental health, my relationships and so many other aspects of my life.

But were there signs when I was younger?

Well, that is where things have become particularly interesting. I have recently revisited my school reports from the 1980s, some of which I have shared in a carousel on social media.

And reading them decades later, through a very different lens, has been quite confronting. The contradictions are extraordinary. A little girl who was enthusiastic, kind, helpful, diligent and desperate to please. Yet also easily distracted, inconsistent, lacking confidence, struggling to finish work and not always achieving results that reflected her effort.

Over and over again, the message seemed to be that I wasn’t quite living up to my potential. And then there was my Year 12 principal, Mr Ost, who wrote:

“Megan, you can do better than these results indicate. Don’t settle for mediocrity.”

Well, Mr Ost, I certainly have not done that!

But looking back, I wonder how much of my life I have spent believing that I simply needed to try harder. Be more organised. More focused. More consistent. Less sensitive. Less different. And boy, did I try.

Of course, these reports are not a diagnosis. Dyslexia was already part of my story, and there can be many reasons for the challenges described.

But they are pieces of a much bigger puzzle. And they remind me of something we are only beginning to understand more fully: ADHD and autism in girls and women do not always look like the stereotypes we have grown up with.

Sometimes the girl who is quiet, helpful, hardworking and desperate to do the right thing is also the girl who is struggling enormously behind the scenes.

And sometimes that little girl grows into a woman who spends decades wondering why everything seems so bloody hard.

But something shifted for me this year.

Someone close to me said:

“It is a gift. You can stop wondering.”

And I have come to realise that they might be right.

Because this journey is not about finding another label. It is about understanding the person I have always been. Learning new tools. Understanding my challenges. Recognising my strengths. And finding ways to work with my brain rather than constantly fighting against it.

I am not taking medication. My assessment journey is still unfolding, and I do not yet know exactly what the final outcome will be. But I do know one thing.

There is nothing wrong with me!

And that got me thinking. If I were neurotypical, would I have achieved everything I have? Would I have taken the risks I have taken? Challenged expectations? Changed careers? Built businesses? Pursued the crazy ideas that somehow turned into extraordinary opportunities?

Would I have this wonderfully rich tapestry of people in my life who love me for the passionate, unpredictable, occasionally chaotic and definitely NOT boring person I am?

I don’t think so.

I will never know, of course. But I do know that the way I think, feel and experience life has helped shape the person I have become.

And while I would not wish some of the struggles I have had on anyone, I would not trade the life I have created. So yeah. I am cool with who I am, finally at 47.

And perhaps the greatest gift of this journey is finally being able to look back at that little girl in those school reports with understanding rather than criticism. She was not failing. She was doing her bloody best with the tools she had.

And to every woman who might recognise herself in this story, I want to say something important.

Please do not spend years struggling, wondering or trying to diagnose yourself through social media. Recognition can be the beginning of a conversation, but it is not a diagnosis. Reach out to a qualified health professional. Ask questions. Explore the possibilities. Seek an appropriate assessment and find the support that is right for you.

Because whether the answer is ADHD, autism, AuDHD, something else entirely or no diagnosis at all, you deserve to be heard, understood and supported.

This is about so much more than an acronym.

It is about confidence. Mental health. Relationships. Wellbeing. And being able to live your life without constantly feeling that you need to become someone else to fit in.

My journey is not over, but my mindset has certainly changed.

From another label to greater understanding.

From feeling different to embracing my difference.

From wondering what’s wrong with me to appreciating everything that’s right about me.

And that’s a pretty extraordinary place to be.

Sometimes the most important thing we can change is the story we have been telling ourselves.

#ADHDAwarenessMonth #ADHDAwareness #AuDHD #NeurodivergentWomen #Neurodiversity #WomenWithADHD #AdultADHDAssessment #LateDiscovery #WomensMentalHealth #MovementMindsetModify #MimiMoonMeno