Loss & Grief

Ever been through a major life shift, like becoming a parent? Menopause is another one of those transformative moments, similar to puberty or pregnancy. It’s a time of change, and let’s be honest – change can be tough. There might be a sense of loss or sadness as things shift. Your body might not feel like yours anymore, and your emotions could be a rollercoaster. But remember, It’s absolutely okay to mourn that loss. Be gentle with yourself. Talk to a trusted friend/partner or a therapist about your worries or what you feel you are losing.

It is Change

Change isn’t always a bad thing, even if it feels a bit off. For many women, bidding farewell to periods feels like gaining a new kind of freedom. Imagine no longer planning your life around your monthly cycle (if that’s what you used to do). Take this opportunity to really get to know your body and its new quirks.

Sensations

Get curious about which sense is your dominant sense. Is it your sense of smell, touch, or maybe hearing? Take that dominant sense and bring it into your solo or partnered sex. Let’s say smell is your superstar – bring in those scented candles, lotions, or a hint of perfume to elevate your sensual moments. If hearing does it for you, consider playing some sensual audio or asking your partner to share some intimate words in hushed tones. Let your creativity run wild!

Get to Know Your Erotic Self

There’s a whole realm of eroticism within you, ready to guide you on this journey. Check out this course: “Discover Your Erotic Self” – it’s all about tapping into that side of yourself and getting to know the erotic you!

Sex is Not Intercourse!

Let’s bust a myth – sex limited to intercourse; that’s just one tool in the pleasure kit. There’s a whole array of things you can explore. So, don’t put yourself in a box. Get playful, get inventive, and remember that it’s all about what brings pleasure and of course consensual.

Intimacy is Not Just Sex

Ever notice how when you’re not in the mood for the whole shebang, you might unconsciously avoid physical closeness with your partner? That can put a strain on the emotional bond between you two.

Redefine Intimacy

Sit down and have an honest chat with your partner. Let them know that you might not be up for sex right now (or for a while), but you’re totally up for the closeness of touch, deep kisses, and simply cuddling up. It’s a fantastic way to deepen your sense of intimacy.

Foreplay Starts at the End of the Last Orgasm!

If there’s any resentment or frustration brewing with your partner, it’s no surprise that your sexual desire might take a hit. Remember, what goes on outside the bedroom is just as crucial as what happens inside it.

Consult a Sexologist

Let’s face it, most of us haven’t been taught the language of sexual communication. So, if you’re feeling a bit awkward or challenged expressing your desires, consider reaching out to a qualified sexologist. They’ve got the know-how to guide you through.

I am a patient of Anisa Varasteh. Anisa has helped me navigate the loss of libido part of my Peri Meno experience and I am thrilled to have her support by collaborating with me on this important topic, and to raise awareness about the Meno change. You can see the professionals I have engaged with on my journey at the Meno reference page here. 

If you are not ready for a face-to-face meeting just yet but would like to start on the journey about understanding your pleasure tool kit, why not listen to Anisa’s podcast Sexplicit, or if you are into books try Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel. You can find these and more links on the reference pages.